When the Moon turns Russian Red.

Something in the Moon

I think there must have been some sort of weird thingy going on with the moon last night because not only was I like a poodle in heat it seems that every girl last night was too. At about 630 my phone rang and of course it was Russian Model. She was concerned that something might have happened to me because not only for the past 5 days had I not been returning her calls or texts but after she emailed me I decided hmm maybe this girl is starting to realize what it will take to keep me in her heart and that’s screw me until the skin literally comes off my dick. So I email her back and played the, "I thought I told you I was going to be in London this week?" card.

Relieved to know that not only I am still talking to her she was also happy to know that I was out of the country and had no communication to the US. Wow, wait a minute that sounds like a dream!!! Maybe I should try that someday! Anyway so I answer sounding excited to hear from her. With the way she was talking its as if I could see her thighs getting soaked with the sound of my voice and her pussy convulsing to the point that I could have made her cum over the phone without her touching herself.

I know this because she did the, "let me call you back thingamajig," and when a girl does that it means you have gotten them so hot that she has to either rub one out and she is too embarrassed to do it over the phone, or she has to go compose herself in a cold shower and wash off the stickiness from her thighs. Or she had diarrhea, which is entirely possible. Or all of the above!

Either way in the time it took her to call me back, an old flame who I am probably still in love with talked on the phone with me. She is from my college days and sadly we never hooked up, probably because I was such a virgin UnaDater back then. I think I knew dick goes into vagina, and what 69 was and that is about it. Why do we enjoy 69 by the way? I mean don’t get me wrong the idea of a girl sitting on my face so that I can suck her like a stranded survivor on a desert island sucking coconut milk out of coconut while getting my dick inhaled sounds incredible but in the end the execution never seems to pan out correctly. But I digress.

So I rekindle the flame with the old wick and still find myself excited today that even though its been like 5 or more years that neither of us are trading pictures of our 2 year old named Demetrius or some other name that is not cliché! Hmmm one never knows what the future holds.

Ok the weird part is the number of text I got while on the phone with her.

Russian Model, "I miss you so muchhhhh"

Moldova, "What are you doing tonight?"

Steak Girl, "I'm studying, but I need a break! What are you doing tonight?"

Dominican, "Yes Papi"

Russian Model: "I wish I was with you."

Trannie, "I can not take it anymore the operation will be Monday, please tell me you will still love me?"

Uhhh wait a minute!

Lucy Lingerie, "I really need to fuck a young bitch, tonight!"

CEO Friends with Bens, "Hi honey, I am in my robe thinking about you and lotion, when are we going to play again?"

Even my BFF, "Do you have any chick flicks at your house if I come over?"

So while on the phone I had to text back a few, and I realized that Russian Model is passionately horny and not nearly as moody as she normally that tonight be the best night to F-U-C-KKKKKKKK.

So I begin planting the seed for her to come over, and even though her divaness ways forbid her from traveling to Brooklyn she contemplated doing so in a cab that I informed her would only be a 10-minute ride. Thrilled and excited by this, she then pulls the but I am in my sweats which excited me because I seriously love it when a girl who is always dressed up dresses down and wear no make up.

Seeing that I might lose her I get off the phone with my true love in Green Bay and call her up immediately. At this moment I use the M&M line, you know one that melts in your mouth not in your hand. I tell her that you know that feeling when you just get off a plane and you are looking for someone to hug immediately because you are so happy to be home. She says yeah she hates it when no one is there to pick her up, and I said well you are that person. I want to bear hug you so bad right now. Feel your warmth.

She was over in 15 minutes…

Soon after our faces were sucking each other and I actually felt the need to wanna suck her pussy, and I did until she came. It took a little bit but I was so excited and happy to be feeling her soft lips in my mouth and she tasted clean and fresh that I did not want to stop. Of course now she knows I am definitely the boss making her cum through oral.

She goes for my cock and I love it when a girl grabs her hair whips it around her head and takes her hand to hold it up and then gives you that stare right into you eye as she takes all 7 and half inches of you in her mouth and deep throats it. She does this 5 times and on the 5th she gags and spits it all over my cock. She then begins to jack me off hard while sucking my head. She gets violent and demands for me to cum all over her face. I loved it. The best head I have gotten since I broke up with MY FUTURE WIFE a year ago.

I came all over her face and she licked it like her favorite ice cream.

Feeling relieved that I had finally conquered Russian model I began to sit back and relax and look up at the ceiling, only to be reminded why I canceled my subscriptions in the first place.

"Don’t you think you should have better artwork on your walls rather than these watercolors?" BITCHHHHH those are pictures my nephew did that I molded into a frame art thingy, and I love it!

Annoyed again I role over and she falls asleep knowing she has to be up mad early for a photo shoot in the morning. I am happy to hear this because I am convinced I do not want to fuck her in the morning!

It was a wild evening and I was left wondering what came over me. Why the F did I want Russian Model to come over and not someone else. Only to see that there was a Full Lunar Eclipse which obviously makes women turn into tiny ants in search of a sugar cube.

It even makes sense to hear that the clubs were empty last night as CFO texted me during my oral sesh. Every girl who had a man was getting that magnetic pull towards sexy time that only a lunar eclipse could produce!

So my question is, how many people actually had wild crazy unforgettable unexplainable sex last night, and did things you would not normally do?

If you are feeling guilty this morning because you licked your boyfriends ass all night and maybe if you are a dude your ass hole it sorer than usual, no worries.

Just blame it on the man in the moon!