Never Trust A Tiger Who Doesn't Curse

So I met Leopard Print Kitty Kat on Tuesday at Fig and Olive on Lexington between 62nd and 63rd. For the first time since I could remember my date was actually waiting for me rather than me showing up on time and having to wait patiently another 20 minutes or so for my date to arrive. As I walked in I saw her big curly hair sitting at the bar and noticed her bright orange sleeveless halter top that I believe the whole restaurant was aware of. She has great arms and obviously works out, and once again I was excited by the fact that she was willing to show some skin on a cold rainy night.

But then we get to talking, well she more than me, and I find a sweet wholesome family girl who lives with both of her sisters in a beautiful Upper East Side pad. For the most part this Italian beauty from Pennsylvania grew up surrounded by great food and family in a suburban atmosphere. Despite what she was wearing she came off as wholesome and not much of a closet freak that I would hope she would be. She seemed genuine and pure and sure she had dated here and there but men do not seem to be a necessity in this independent household cat.

I love conversations about family and small towns because I too share a great deal of affection for my immediate family and come from a small town as well. So rather than me undress the tiger with my eyes I found myself looking actually into her eyes and listening to the worlds coming out of her mouth. Very proper, very poised, very sincere and honest, and yes no cuss words.

How do I feel about a woman who doesn't cuss? All women cuss, all women have a naughty side, but not this persian cat. She is truly genuine and honest and that scares me. I dated someone like her before and even though we slept with each other within a week of our first date the sex was awful. I had to teach her basically how to enjoy herself during sex and that will instantly turn me off.

It is not all about sex for me, but it is all about GOOD wait no FUCKING AMAZING UNPREDICTABLE EXPLOSIVE sex for me. I guess I am not just looking for a full time lover, but the sex has to be great too. I can be patient when dating someone to get them in the sack if I feel they are as genuine as this tiger cub seemed to be, but if the sex is bad there will be no chemistry.

If a woman does not cuss, then she cannot be someone who has naughty thoughts about sex when tied up in a meeting. Maybe I am wrong, I am sure she thinks about having her poonanny tickle every now and then, but that doesn't mean she can satisfy a Gemini.

She emailed me yesterday early in the morning thanking me for the wonderful time and conversation which I wholeheartedly agree. She was a delight to talk to, pleasant and charming, and loved to hear about my nephew. Who knows maybe going through a whole dinner and not thinking about how good this Lion would look on all fours and me pulling on her big brown curly hair while I break her back side out is just what I need.

But I doubt it....