In Defense of the Leopard Print

Two weeks ago while out with CFO in the Lower East Side we stopped off at some dive bar filled with the typical Saturday night crowd for the LES.

Discouraged by the lack of beautiful babies I suggested we head west mainly because I was more in the mood to show off my new Armani blazer that I was wearing that no one in Lower East Side drinking a Pabst Blue Ribbon would ever admire or even notice. Also I might add have you ever noticed the lack of sexy bartenders in the Lower East Side? For the most part it is old dudes who have been buying weed in LES for decades are the bartenders these days, and that just does not whet my palate.

With my coat on I am prepared to walk out when I see the extinct animal sitting waiting patiently at the bar. Her tight little behind was covered interestedly enough by leopard print shorts which were covering her black fishnet stockings! Immediately turned on by her wild curly hair and her great legs she decided to show off in the cold I immediately picked up her phermones and realized this kitty was on the prowl.

Noticing that the bald arrogant 50-year-old bartender was not paying attention to my pussy cat I walked up to assist her. Shocked by how not busy he was and how he refused to acknowledge her I began playing good cop bad cop by making her out to be the sweet good one and myself the big fucking ass hole.

We exchanged pleasantries in which he did not find so pleasant and before I knew it, Max the big black bouncer was escorting me out. Remember we were leaving anyway.

Seeing my beautiful cat woman sadden by the fact that I got thrown out defending her honor I knew I had a fast track to her number. I motioned to CFO to go back in there with my incredible business card and apologize for me.

Whatever he said had to have worked because first thing Monday morning she emailed me. Within 4 email exchanges we have made a date, and tonight is that date!

I have no idea if she will be nearly as hot without the leopard print shorts, but anytime a girl gets freaky on a Saturday night that is always a good thing!